my world of pessimism!

2006-05-25T05:25:00.000-07:00

it has been a long while since i last touch this blog.spider webs everywhere.its gettting rusty.well well well.wad can i say huh.mid yr flunkAGE.wad else.phone spoil.our communication is getting further.and further.all the bad things are like happening to me.in that short span of time.wth.wad.GOD think i wolverine arhs.can heal super fast.?HELL NO.

last recap ya.erm.21 may 2006.davinci code.darn movie.super crap.waste time only.cant believe i wanna watch.LOL.cut til like crazy sia.might as well just film a few pages.lol.den somemore.when we come out.wan go home.no cab.all of us was like running here and there.screaming to the taxis.telling them to stop and fetch us home.LOL.but its fun.going out with all of them.lol.den bought my victorinox wallet.damm nice.HAHA.go home tio scolded.not for being late.but buying things.tmd.buy things also cannot arhs.LOL

22-may-2006.a joyous day for 4e3.a well earned victory for the hard-working side.lol.we won 4e6!!finally.goals from junhong(owngoal),yazid,yi liang and a brace from stevie G secure the victory for us.LOL!!!!!

ok.wad else.ok today25-may-2006.another movie day.wj bday sia.happy birthday!!!we go watch xmen3.damm nice.wolverine is so super cool.lol.well well well.wad i learn from the movie?all the jeanS in the world are dangerous(better dun let jeanette see sia)HAHA.LOL!!!nothing to add for today.usual boredom in class.LOL.

tml.judgement day.mother wil come school take report book.lol.confirem overall fail a lot de.shit sia.always like that de.dunno why.fuck man.nvm.mid year is only a gauge.HAHA.who cares!

none to add ba.except.know you hate this but.the love wil always be ther.waiting one day for you to pick up.i love you.it doesnt changes.

my whole world is crashing down.

2006-05-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

din really touch these blog for days.so many things happen.so many things to say.din have time for blog cos of exam.ya.and.i was preoccupied by so many things waiting to be done.

the increasing pressure of exams are proving to be too much a burden to take.i revised.true enough.but revision doesn't always make you a good scorer.plenty of revision helps.only if you can apply everything you learn on the day of your exmaination.it appears.that is wad i lack.plenty of studying but to no avail.

i was also taught the fact that friends do have a contrasting impact in my life.they can say things so nice.i can smile in my sleep.but they also can say things that can totally make me distrust any beliefs of 'forever friends'.i have come to learn that that knda talk.are all but bullshit.

yvonne told me before.she said:"nothing lasts forever except friendships.".i am now going to corect her belief.NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.my statement is clear.let me tell everyone out there.i have an attitude.thats the way i am.dont claim to be my fren if you cant stand my attitude.

2006-05-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

richie,now i understand.

words do have effect on people.especially when it comes from someone so special to you.optional

simple word to the simple person.hurting word to a hurting guy.it seems to me that you derived joy from doing this.do you feel happy doing all these?does it gives you satisfaction?though it hurts.if you really are happy with doing all these stuff.by all means.i want you to be happy.you are my utmost priority in life.my goal.my target.my dream.

dont you know that every single thing you say have an effect on me?every single thing you do.a small effort from you can either make my day or literally make me feel there aint a purpose living.you are stubborn.you wont change.but you just seem to forgtet sth.im the same.im stubborn.i wun change.

maybe you think that after school ends.when its time to move on to our next level of institutional studies.i might forget all about you.how could i.its my life.it has you written all over it.you are the reason why i come to school everyday happy.though i may not be close to you.observing your smile from afar is rather enough.that drives me on for the whole day.

all the time.whenever i thought about you.whenever i thought about the way things are going on between you and i.we end up going back to the topic that i so much dread to talk about with you.then i end up being hurt badly.which is exactly wad im feeling rite now.nvm.she doesn't care.who does anyway?

flunkage of my subjects.target for Os.L1R5=54.no mood to study

2006-05-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

today is our emaths and physics midyear paper.omg.i hope i do well for both.seriously.i have not much hope actually.physics paper set by the ever funny mrs chong.DAMM IT.the qns come out also freaking funny.LOL!all totally dont understand sia.as for emaths.it is tricky.but i think shld pass?i hope lahs.but shldnt put hopes too high.LOL!

you know its real frustrating sometimes to have people telling you that you're something.when you actually aren't.it so totally pisses me off.so people.have a life.put yourselves in my shoes.JUST STOP THIS SHITTING BEFORE I REALLY GET FED UP.

day went by.chiongin amaths with jevon at mac.then there was these freaking qn.wad gf-1.fuck man.jevon solved and i din't!wtf!i hate losing!nvm.jevon is good i must admit.he thought things faster than i do.faster brain processor!pentinum B!lol

after that go meet jean again to chiong her chem.OMG.she grabbed the whole of mole concept in 2 hours!claps!see.jeanette arhs.you just need a bit of studyin.everything wil go fine!you're a clever gal!

then after that jiu go home lo.unability to pei her home.but its ok.HAHA.cos im kinda tired too.so nvm.got off bus earlier.HAHA.reach home.update these blog of mine.so tired lahs!lol!kk.im done with today lahs.enough of bullshit.tml got chem.then amaths(the day after next).

pressure is mounting as the days count down.wil i really be able to meet my standards?we'll see man.we'll see.

2006-05-07T07:16:00.000-07:00

wow.today.totally sucks.woke up.go piano(tio scolding frm teacher).go chinese lesson(thats fine.no complains)then went jevon hse for physics understanding session(not too bad too.no much problems)then i left early.thinking that i have to meet jean to study(thats the worst part....)

i left tuition halfway cos thought gonna meet jean to chiong her subs.left jevon hse at 1400.ok.called her.shit no one ans.nvm.i waited.2 whole hours b4 she called me back.LOL.a little pissed.but not angry with her.dunno lahs.just so weird lahs.maybe just cant angry with her.dunno why.i like always let her have her way?

shes nice.she's a great gal.wonderful to talk to.extremely hilarious.LOL!veri good god sis!lol!den we go eat coffee bean.serious.you really got to take care of yrself leh.scary and worrying.den study her chem(sorry.aint a good teacher)

then we go kfc eat.take bus back to her place.walk her in.go play the playground.so freaking cartoon.two rather grown up ppl.playing the seesaw.HAHA.then reach yr hse.said bye.walk the long way out then go hm.HAHA

today.bad it may be.but there are definitely fun times!LOL!tml emaths.shit.dunno anything.lol!physics too!HOLY SHIT!who cares.just go and do the paper!HAHA

GOOD LUCK TO ALL.and her as well.tml is yr big day.dun disappoint me!(know you dun care.but i do!)JIAYOU!

2006-05-06T05:19:00.000-07:00

wtf.emaths is so freaking difficult lahs.what prime factors.what sin rule cos rule.totally forget.shit.emaths gonna fail too.shit.i need help!

ok.nvm.paper 1 coming soon.about 50-50 get distinction.need my aunt help.today chionging liao.chiong with my aunt again.she's so freaking clever.if i can A my Os.all becos of her.

i hoh.so many things freaking dunno.so damm fucked up.study-bu hao.dota-bu hao.soccer and running-bu hao too.towards her-also bu hao.WTF.got which thing is good de??

NVM.WHO CARES?LOL!tml going study with jean they all.they say want me help them amaths.i cant help myself.how to help others.but nvm.just teach whatever i know lahs.dun wan them do badly or what.OMG aren't i good?

HAHA.omg.forget to highlight sth that happen ytd.you are like getting on our nerves.pls change.or else...LOLOL

if you think you are gonED.you definitely is gonED!so lets not be pessimists and be optimists!HAHA!

2006-05-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

OMG.two days never post.neglectED my blog.SORRY!

thursday nv go hm so cant post.at aunt house chiongin amaths.its like fuck.chiong liao stil cant pass.
ytd.playing dota wif a bunch of leavers.WTF?kana killed jiu leave game.fucking losers.think im rank lowest in my team.LOL!

shit lahs my amaths is GONED.gonna fail.just like last year.fucked up liao lahs.richie ,yl and jevon gonna pass as usual.while me gonna fail.SO FUCKING COOL.

ohh.friday(ytd), its night study day! usual im alone again.without my music!what a torture.but its ok actually.cause she's in school too.HAHA.and i dont blame rich they all.cos they got tuition and i just dun feel like going home!LOL!

it was quite fun actually.i study for like an hour.den talking wif sukri's frenz(dunno their names though)but they so freaking hilarious(wrong spelling i think)so fun being with them.HAHA.

after which i met jevon and den we in turn met rich and gang.then we go eat.the seafood totally like shit.LOL!after go home dota lo!

OH YA. YQ.you can stop saying sorry.its irritating lahs.somemore.you din do anything wrong?-.-
and hello.always say dunno when i pissed or not.OMG.know me so long stil dunno.PRO!
HAHA.nvm its ok.dun blame you lahs.later say i always dun care.just vocing my opinion.LOL!

2006-05-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

RAPID POPULATION GROWTH

tomorrow is our combined humanities paper.SHIT it's mid year!very much like last year.i din touch any book.OMGim gonna fail again.i can feel the same old jittery feeling.DAMM.i dont understand myself actually.i set targets for myself but i never work towards them.WTF?

target setting is common in everybody's lives.IN life, we wil always have a target, a goal in life,in short, purpose.this purpose, these goals, is what drives forward.its the thing that keeps us motivated and moving ahead.my purpose in life is her, my studies.

HAVE I REALLY WORK TOWARDS THEM?

hell!of course i tried(duh?)LOL!i plan my future with these two things as integral parts of my life.but i nv really succeed.studies.as usual.slacking behind class;because richie din study and he scores.so i was kinda figuring i can do the same.LOL!i cant! instead of going up.my grades increase with the numbers.c6 to d7 to e8 to f9.WTF?

as for her.i dont think i want to comment.im such a liar.i always tell her i wun force her.but matter-of-factly.i always do that.it pisses her off.i think.sorry gal.sorry has always been the word btw her and me.GOD!sorry! i cant find a approriate subsitute.i apologised! (that sounds so fucking formal!)

LOL!anyway.sum things up.good luck for all those taking the bloody mid yr.HAPPY FAILING!JOIN ME!LOL!
i love you gal.i wun change.

2006-05-02T07:24:00.000-07:00

today im going to talk about loneliness(i wonder if i got the right spelling)OK.back to the topic.loneliness.

Have you ever been alone.i mean really alone.no one's there.no one to be with you?i have just experience how that feels.let me tell you.it totally sucks.never try it.you dont want to know how it feels.

scenario:i have this friend.he's such a chiongER.he is like.study freak?.ok.that's good for him anyway.then one day.he;who has plenty of friends.OK.basically he was studyingbut he thought his massive amount of friends will be with him.GUESS WHAT?none of his friends were.consider this.a guy.alone.sitting on the same chair for like 4 hours, face to face with some extreme mathematical sum?OMFG.that guy must be a pro not to complain.COS IT"S LIKE SO COOL?

ok.to hell the fren of mine shld go.so does he really have friends?i dunno?

today.i did some chinese paper.comprehension i think.it says friendship is like a tree.i totally agree.its like tat fren's trees.aint got any branches (meaning:he aint got any friends)

LOL.tat's all for today i guess.oh ya.sorry joanne.i shld have flare up again.dun worry.i wun assume anymore.i wun think so far and get the wrong idea.but.i stil love you.that's the fact that wun change.i promise.i love you gal.

2006-05-01T07:09:00.000-07:00

friends are people who we can count on.who we can share with.do i have friends?

i dont really know?

or i do have friends but they are driven away by my arrogance and extreme attitude problem?maybe i wasn't meant to have friends.i was meant to be some loner.attitude.i love scolding ppl?

maybe god already gave me the title of "friendless"?im utterly confused.im totally lost.i need help

BUT DO I HAVE HELP?